Overflow Description:

“Overflow” is a self-portrait depicting how anxiety shows up in the brain, is stored in the body, and can lead to an overflow of emotion if not dealt with properly.  

I chose to place a diagram of an anxious brain inside the body of a jellyfish because the fluidity and ever changing shape of a jellyfish’ body reminds me of the human brain, especially when it is being hijacked by anxiety.

I concealed my face and used the jellyfish “hat” to highlight the overwhelming effect that anxiety has on the brain.  The larger red areas that appear to be inflamed in my brain symbolize the dominant presence of anxiety.  In an anxious brain, the amygdala is large and hypersensitive.  It is responsible for the expression of fear and aggression.  When the amygdala senses danger, it sends signals to the hypothalamus, which triggers a fight or flight response.  Because of its hypersensitivity, it sends a lot of false alarms which makes living with anxiety quite stressful.  The prefrontal cortex, which is meant to inhibit the amygdala or stop its activity, doesn’t work properly during an anxiety attack.  This makes it challenging to control your thoughts during an anxious episode.

I positioned two jellyfish brains in opposite corners of the composition to illustrate what a normal brain looks like that is not affected by anxiety disorder.  These two jellyfish appear to float peacefully in the water, unaffected by stress hormones or overactive thoughts or false threats.  They also balance out each other well in the piece and this provides an interesting contrast as a sense of balance in an anxious mind is a rather elusive idea.

I painted myself leaning on a small treasure chest in an attempt to contain the overflowing colours from coming out, but to no avail.  The lock has become opened and lies in the pool of colours to the right.  The colours themselves represent the myriad of emotions and thoughts that overwhelm me from day to day.  And despite my best efforts, sometimes the overthinking and anxious thoughts overtake, spill out, and wash away any rational thought and reasoned logic.  

I mixed acrylic pouring liquid with my paint colours so that the paint itself, is no longer contained within the canvas.  This shows how easily anxiety can overwhelm the body and mind.   And even if you try to bury the root causes of your anxiety deep down inside of you, that anxiety can thrive and wreak havoc in your body when you least expect it.

I hope that “Overflow” provides relief to those who struggle with anxiety and emphasizes that you are not alone in your fight.